Tricornered Hat
by Mephistophelian
Summary: Just a one-shot on Jacks hat and its trials and tribulations. Yes, Jacks hat. The really cool looking hat


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Tricorner Hat

I don't own Jacks hat! Or jack, but I do own this snazzy picture of the both of them. * Holds up DVD cover.* See, SEE! I'm a true fan, just with little merchandise. But i do have a skeleton made out of rubbery plastic stuff. i found it at school *wink* Oh yeah. Your here to read the story of a tricornered hat. But not just _any _triconrenered hat, no, you will hear of _Jack's_tricornered hat. Here we go!

Story:

Day 1.

Today, I was stolen from a shop. Alright, I wasn't that lucky! I was stolen off some grungy drunk hobo. But it wasn't my fault. If i had it my way I would have been bought from some rich peoples hat shop cuz then I'd be rich. but anyway, I was stolen by a man name Jack who claims to be a pirate and have the ability to see dead people. he likes rum, a lot. And women, though they don't seem to feel the same. He gets slapped by them, a lot. And he steals, a lot. Particularly, I don't have a hard time believing he's a pirate captain. The dead people thing though, well, lets just say I'm skeptical. Back to me, I am going to smell like rum for the rest of eternity due to the captains habits.

Many Days Later.

Well that good for nothing! Jack, the captain i mentioned before, well, his first mate, Barbossa, he marooned us on an island. Nat that I can't cope, but my owner, well, he needs food, though he seems to be getting along ell enough with the rum he found. But that's not what's got me riled up. its the first mates hat. She thinks she's soooOOOooo great, just cuz she's bigger than me! I otta! Well, I gotta go. Jacks just 'accidentally' spilled rum on me. Idiot captain.

3 Days later.

GENIUS CAPTAIN! We've been saved by some people called the rum runners! well, thats all for now. I gotta go get washed. The rum Jack spilt on me is really sticky.

A Long Time Later. (AKA Arrival To Port Royal).

Jack is an idiot. I feel, so humiliated. We are riding in a sinking ship. Its sinking! And all Jack can do is stand on the mast. He's crazy! Anyway, here we are in port Royal to 'commandeer' a ship. That's what he said about the last 5 ports! I think he should give up the dream and move to some remote corner of the ocean and build a little stolen hat shop and sell hats for reasonably cheap prices. Then again I am a hat so of course I would want to have a hat shop, but annnyyyway. Jack is at the moment talking to a plump fellow and a skinny one.

A Few Minutes Later.

Wow. I've never heard that story before. Well at least I now know why Jack was their chief. Oh look! A woman plummeting down into the vast Caribbean. Its so beautiful. The plummeting not the girl. I only go for girls like...... *sees Elizabeth's hat.* HOT MAMMA!!!!!!!

A Few More Minutes Later.

I cant believe we are in jail and begging a dog to give us keys to our cells. Oh look, its a member of Jacks mutinying crew. Hi mutinous crewmembers! HEY!! Don't touch Jack! He's MY owner only I get to threaten him. Though my threats are more along the lines of " I wont protect you from the suns UV rays ya dolt." Hmmmmm. not very effective seeing as Jack has the ability to move me around.............

A Few Days Later.

I HATE YOU BARBOSSAS HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're back on this pathetic spit of land. And with _her_*glares at Elizabeth.* she didn't even bring her gorgeous hat. Oh my love. I miss you so. Anyway, I don't care if were here again, as long as Jack doesn't spill any more rum on me.

Maybe A Night Or So Later.

Maybe Jack _can_see dead people.... oh hi1 Jack is fighting Barbossaa right now while i glare my non-existent eyes off at Barbossas hat, Mindy. I hate that na-EEEPPP!! Don't hit me with your swords you idiots!!!! Anyway. Mindy will suffer my wrath. Once Jack defeats Barbossa. Never mind. He just defeated him. Well I'll get her. One way or another. I'M COMING FOR YOU MINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Few Days Later.

Alright. I guess this is the ends to my partnership with Jack. *sniff sniff* Were, at the gallows. I hope he dies withought pai- You imitated a clergy! dunce. All sympathy just flew out the window. I mean it's one thing to imitate a 17 year old girl. Cuz that was fun, but a clergy man is different. I mean come on man! Oh look. Its Will. Hi Will!

A Few Minutes Later.

I think you and Will choreographed that Jack. How else could you two have perfect synchronization. But anyway. The important thing is that I no longer have rum spilt all over me. Oh, and that you have your ship back. Good going man! now stop singing that annoying song Elizabeth taught you and we'll all be fine and dandy. Jack! Jack! stop singing! *rum gets spilled on the tricornered hat.* Never mind.

FIN

So, hu? i know, Its short stupid and pointless. But so is the life of a hat. Minus the short. They can live a long time. But anyway, review it for me and I'll give you a cookie!


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